I wrote this poem after a 20 minute meditation sitting on a park bench in Mysore, India. Prior to meditation I was feeling overwhelmed, sticky and hot (it was about 82 degrees out), and my mind felt like a wild horse taking off running loose without any sense of direction.
I had many ideas that I wanted to put into action, but didn't know how to get my mind to cooperate. Even during the meditation it took a good 17 of the 20 minutes for me to settle down, release tension, and stop resisting.
When time was up I felt relieved. It felt like I just an intense workout although the movement was all in my mind. My body finally relaxed. I stopped trying to force something to be created out of the ether. I opened up the notepad on my phone and said "Write something. What do YOU want to write right now?"
Well this was it....
Take the Reins
There's a tug of war going on inside. Do I fight or run away and hide?
The loudspeakers are blasting music I cannot understand. I waver to and fro searching for stable land.
I try not to move, not to blink or rustle my feet. But, it's pumping and thumping shaking me right out of my seat.
My mind wants to reach into the ether and grasp hold of familiar thoughts. It knows no other way that's how it has been conditioned and taught.
On and on it goes in a monotonous tone. "Isn't time up yet?" I say as I look down at my phone.
Seven more minutes. Do not move. Do not shudder. Do not complain. This is the process and what you must do if you want to remain sane.
But what if I lost it. What if I spun out of control. Fell into a dark hole like a crippled foal.
Who would save me and put the pieces back together? I guess you would just have to learn to float and be light as a feather.
Okay I get it, right here right now I will do the work. After all I am borrowing this experience from you, I am your earthly store clerk.
What would you like? How may I serve you?
Can you please speak up I can barely hear you.
Take the reins and guide this wild horse, this mind of mine. Teach it to be patient. Teach it to be kind.
Oh what's that you say? I thought you said something truly profound like in the books I have read. But, maybe I am just confusing your words with what others have said.
I can't tell the difference. The impressions run deep. Who are you and what secrets do you keep?
My mind keeps chattering away to fill in the gaps. I suppose that is the alluring trap.
Take the reins. I give you permission. This wild horse is strong and full of ambition.
Okay, alright, you can be silent if you wish. Ride through the night like a watchman until this journey is finished.
Oh wait, what's happening. The struggle is fading. Into the river we go... just wading.
I can no longer resist or clench my jaw and fists.
Silence flows into my pores. Into every nook and morsel.
Deeper into the depths we go. Quietly, patiently, nice and slow.
In this space...
I can hear you loud and clear.